Maid of Honor Disaster

I’ve just had to do what felt like the worst thing in the world…ask my maid of honor to step down or step out.  I remember how excited I was when I asked Steph to be my maid of honor.  And I remember her heartfelt reaction.  We were both so happy. 

We started out strong, we got together and thought of different things we needed to do and pre-envisioned the day.  We met twice to go dress shopping before I found the perfect one.  It was wonderful!  Slowly, things started to change.  I asked her to accompany me to meet with different vendors for flowers, linens, food or go shopping for shoes.  Each time I was turned down.  She already had plans.  I visited a few places by myself or a sister, an aunt, or Abram accompanied me.  While I did have boatloads of fun, it was not the same. 

While I know the things that happen in the movies aren’t always true, most wedding movies portray a close relationship between the bride and her maid of honor.  In movies, the maid of honor is the right hand gal for the bride.  Whether she’s running errands, narrowing down flower choices, or saying how much she loves the hideous dress she’s about to wear, she’s there physically and emotionally as much as possible.  I thought things would be the same.  I had worked with Steph for a few years and she had helped me more than anyone ever could with running the Combined Federal Campaign at the VA.  It took lots of time planning, decision making, and following up.  All the same things that make a terrific maid of honor.  Since I thought we were good friends and we always had so much fun together, I knew that she’d make a great maid of honor. 

I’m not sure what happened.  Every time I’d ask her if she could meet me after work or at a place, whether it be an all evening event or take only an hour, she always had an excuse.  After a while it started to build up.  I began noticing that even if I’d mention how much I still had to do or specifically list all the things I had to follow up on, she never really said anything and rarely did she ask if there was anything she could do to help out.  It was frustrating and I began to become reluctant to even ask her to help just so I didn’t have to hear that she was too busy.  I wanted her to be in my wedding and I didn’t want to have to face the dreaded and bad etiquette (according to wedding books) of asking my maid of honor to step down or not be in the wedding at all. 

I won’t go into detail about each time I asked her and all of her responses because I don’t need to – I know what they are along with a  handful of other people.  I feel bad enough just writing this, but it’s part of my wedding story.  I do want to mention one specific incident that happened just a few weeks ago.  It was something I could have very easily got done myself, but in the back of my mind I wanted to give her a chance to help out and show that she was on top of things.  I asked her to make a phone call for me.  To follow up with Abe’s mom about the plans for the rehearsal dinner.  I asked her on a Tuesday and sent her Becky’s home and cell numbers.  Steph told me she was busy with volleyball but she’d call Wednesday evening.  Later Wednesday evening I asked her if she got a hold of her.  She said she called once but didn’t get an answer and would try a little later.  I remembered wondering if she had really called.  It bothered me that I was wondering instead of trusting her but I had my doubts.  Much later that night I asked her if she had heard anything.  She said she got distracted and forgot to call back so she would on Thursday after she went shopping for an hour with her brother.  I didn’t bother her Thursday evening.  On Friday morning, I asked her the status.  She said she went to a picnic the night before that lasted until 10 so she never called.  I clenched my teeth and just told her nevermind, I’d do it myself.  I thought she’d tell me it was under control, we still had plenty of time, she’d surely get a hold of her on the weekend, but that didn’t happen.  She said, “Ok, sorry.”  My heart sank.  This was just one more thing to add to the build up. 

While some of you reading this may think so what she didn’t call, there’s more to it.  I don’t even know if she knew how my cake was going to look or what flowers would be in the wedding.  She hadn’t seen the venue yet and never had time to help with invitations or the program.  All things that most maid of honors are there for.  When my sister Sarah, who has been helping me a tremendous amount and was just a maid of honor in her best friend Heather’s wedding, began questioning Steph’s whereabouts I knew I wasn’t expecting too much.  Sarah told me how often she and Heather met up and how she was always picking up shoes, or the dress, or meeting her at different consultations and how there were a few times she had to change plans to be there for Heather.  She said that was her job.  She said it became second nature to ask what else, what next, what can I take off your shoulders.  Sarah told me how saddened she was that I was not getting to enjoy my maid of honor and bride relationship.  I had heard the same thing from a few other married individuals.  I knew I had to say something.

It took so much and so long for me to muster up the courage to tell her how I felt.  I didn’t want to hurt her feelings, but I really need someone that can do more.  Finally, after realizing there is less than three months left until the wedding (I continue to feel panicky every time I hear this), I knew I had to speak or forever hold my peace.  Yesterday after work I talked about the issue with a couple friends and everyone felt like I’d be doing the right thing.  Everyone said reassured me that it was MY day and I wouldn’t want to have regrets.  Still with not enough courage I prayed and slept on it.  I knew that the right decision would show itself. 

I got to work this morning and let Steph know first thing that I had a scheduling issue with the bridal shower she was throwing me and I would need to change the date.  It wasn’t until August and I knew she hadn’t really done anything with it that made the date concrete.  She wrote back and let me know that she had missed an all expense paid trip to New Orleans just to have my shower.  While I was sorry, she never expressed that to me.  I let her pick her date for the shower before anyone else.  My immediate reaction was that I felt horrible, my second reaction was “How dare she try and make me feel guilty”.  I offered for her not to have a shower.  She let me know that she couldn’t choose another date anyway since that was her only free weekend between now and the wedding. She said she was sad, but she understood.  I was already typing an email to let her know how I felt about everything this far.  I knew that it was the right thing to do.  It was the straw that broke the camel’s back when she said she didn’t have any other free weekends until the wedding.  To date there are 12 weekends left.  And she already has plans for all of them?  To me it was clear she didn’t set aside any wedding planning time.  I wanted to ask, just to clarify, but with the record she established with me, I knew she’d never be able to make it to anything else, especially as we enter the crucial crunch-time month. 

I especially dreaded that I was about to tell her how I felt in an email.  I was ashamed about how impersonal this might seem, but I couldn’t help it.  I was at work and was sitting at my desk with my eyes welling up as I tried not to let a tear slide down my face.  My final email looked like this….

I really don’t know how to even say this but I need to let you know how I feel.

I really feel like I don’t know that you should be in the wedding or maybe you should step down since it doesn’t seem like we are as close anymore and they way that I envisioned my maid-of-honors role in the whole wedding planning process has been far from the truth.  I appreciate that you helped me choose a dress, but other than that you really haven’t done much.  Every time there was an appointment or vendor to meet with you have been unable to attend and you really haven’t taken the lead on helping with anything.  I feel uncomfortable asking you to do things anymore because it upsets me that you  never can.  I have so much to do and details to finalize and with less than three months left in the wedding I would have thought that you would have offered to take care of some of it.  I feel like when you accepted the honor of being maid of honor you knew what all it entailed and would have made arrangements to make yourself more available or at least have time to work on things on your own time or if you knew that you’d be too busy I wish you’d have asked to be a bridesmaid instead. 

I feel awful for even having to tell you this, but I really needed to let you know.  I’m not worried about the bridal shower, it’s just everything else. 

Although I hit send before I was ready, I knew it was in God’s hands.  I impatiently checked my inbox as I waited for a reply.  21 minutes later I got a reply.   She let me know that she just wouldn’t be in the wedding and said an insincere “good luck.”  She said we were no longer friends. 

I was kind of sad.  I never wanted this and this surely isn’t how I thought things would ever turn out, but things happen for a reason.  I am grateful I found out now rather than later that she wasn’t really a friend after all.  I felt a huge weight lifted off my shoulders after I told her and after I found out she didn’t want to be in the wedding.  I’d rather have no help than to be expecting help and not get it. 

Shopping on the Internet

After I found my dress I decided to find the flower girl’s dress.  Since my dress is kind of unique (sorry, no further details) I knew I couldn’t have a mini-me dress, but I didn’t want something that would clash either.  My aunt Karen and I spent an entire day shopping for the perfect dress.  Pretty much every store I visited flower girl dresses were around $120.  I called Abe who said that is ridiculous amount of money to spend on a five year olds dress and didn’t want me spending that much on the dress.  He told me to see if I could find it cheaper anywhere else.  Considering my aunt Karen and I had already searched every store in a million mile radius, I turned to the internet.  Not only did I find the perfect dress, but it was only $59 dollars ($74 with the cheapest shipping)!  I got out my credit card and ordered it.  Madison was so excited that soon she’d get a princess dress J 

Several weeks went by, actually about six, and I hadn’t got a confirmation email, confirmation number, or anything.  I tried to log on to the website using my user name and password which is the same for all things wedding that I order online.  Didn’t work – “user name not valid”  I clicked the Contact Us tab only to find that this company is located in Shanghai, China.  Unbeknownst to me Shanghai is known for scamming people and the Chinese mobs.  Great right? They had an address and email address, but no phone number.  Darn it!  I felt scammed.  I emailed customer service asking for help in accessing my account and inquiring on any tracking information.  I provided my name, address, and what I was sure the user name was.  The website promotes their customer service response time to be within 24 hours.  Sure enough the next morning I had an email from customer service asking what was the date I paid for the dress.  After checking my credit card statement, I immediately responded.  Actually I responded with more than that.  I responded with the amount I paid for the dress, the dress style number, the size I ordered, the color the sash was supposed to be, and my order number that I was given after I entered my credit card information.  I patiently waited more than the 24 hours suggested and heard nothing.  I sent another email and heard nothing.  Ugh!  I was already trying to figure out what I was going to do.

Another week went by, still no emails.  I received a call at work.  Abe had been home and the dress had been delivered.  First of all the worst packaging ever.  The dress was rolled in a ball and packaged in what looked like a black trash bag.  At this point I was just happy to have the dress.  I opened the package only to find the dress was nearly big enough to fit a 13 or 14 year old.  What the heck!?!?  I ordered a child size six.  I checked the tag.  The handwritten tag on the inside had a number 6.  Besides the size somehow being wrong, the dress was only supposed to come to Madison’s knees, I had purposefully chosen a short dress since the wedding is in September and I want her to be able to move and be comfortable.  I pulled the dress up online just to make sure I wasn’t going crazy.  The picture didn’t look much like what I was holding.

I really didn’t and couldn’t send it back, I had no account information and it had already taken nearly 2 months to arrive, plus I’d be out $20 to send it back and feared that I’d never see it again.  I took the dress to my moms and had Madison try it on, she loved it although it hung off her body.  The top was below her chest, the sash that should be right under her chest was hanging at her hips, it was wide enough to both fit herself and a friend in it at the same time, and hung so far under her feet that I had to carry her through the house.  My aunt Sue happened to stop by when I was over and said she knew someone that does alterations.  She would explain what was going on and get back to me. 

Later that night I found out it would be around $75-$100 to get this dress altered.  That would mean I would be paying more for the alterations than the dress and be spending around $50 dollars more than if I would have bought a dress in-store for the now low-seeming price of $120.  Hoping that a second opinion would be lower, a friend here at work said she had a friend that likes to sew and could probably do it cheaper than what I was quoted.  When she came to look at the dress and I explained what needed to be done she said she wasn’t interested in such a project, but confirmed that I could expect to pay around $100 if I took it somewhere.  She also said she had a friend that sews and does alterations, but she wasn’t sure if the lady would be interested.  I now debated between buying a new dress to avoid hassle or getting this one altered.  At this point, it didn’t really matter what I did since it was going to cost about the same amount. 

I really did like the dress that I tried to order.  It was actually my favorite of all the ones I had looked found.  It took me longer to find a flower girl dress that I liked then it did to find both my wedding dress and my bridesmaids dresses combined.  I decided to get it altered.  I called the friend of a friend’s friend and drove to her house and gave her the dress.  She explained that she’d have to take it completely apart and remake the whole thing and she would do her best to make it look like what it is supposed to.

I learned my child clothes shopping lesson (now stored in my mind for future reference) – Just buy it!  Abe will never understand this part of life J

Dress Shopping from the MOH's (Maid of Honor's) Point of View

So it’s cold, and when I say cold I mean bitter snowy, icy cold.   And this is the day Liz has decided to go dress shopping.   (These two must have a thing for the cold considering they got engaged in frigid temps with Liz’s toes frozen).   But anyway….we were meeting at David’s Bridal for Liz to try on dresses.  And by we, I mean Liz, her aunt, Abe’s mom and me.   I don’t know what I expected to find (maybe something calm and relaxing and magical like on Say Yes to the Dress) but whatever I expected is not what it was.  It’s a mad house!!  Lots of girls all trying to find “the dress.”   Not even knowing what size Liz would wear made the first attempt at finding only 3 dresses rather hard.  But we did it!  So she tried on those three and then proceeded to try on about 100 more….okay not 100 but it gets so hot and crazy there that you feel you’ve been at it for hours.  But basically she tried on several dresses and liked a few.  She left thinking she liked a dress but I was less than convinced.  Knowing how excited Liz is to marry Abe and how much she’s putting in to this wedding day, I just expected to see a giddy girl leaving the store.  Instead, I saw my best friend looking like she would settle for a dress.  Not good!!

So….a few days later, we decided to go to another shop in the Reading Bridal District.  And there was where I found my calm, relaxing, magical experience that I had been expecting.  Liz, her sister Sarah and I went and thankfully the shop was not crowded and we had amazing service!  We picked out a few dresses including one she has had her eye on from the beginning of this whole experience.   So she begins trying on dresses…the first one was okay.  Of course she looked beautiful (I mean honestly, she could wear a trash bag, walk down the aisle and still look amazing) but it didn’t have that magical wedding day feeling.  And then she put on the one she had been wanting to try on and there I saw my best friend’s face light up and a smile like I’ve never seen.  I knew that instant that this dress had to be “the one.”  But you never know if there is something better out there, so the search continued.  She tried on a few more dresses and came upon another that she really loved as well.  So of course we had to compare and eventually convinced her to put “the one” back on.  And there was that glow and that smile again.  And after much thought and deliberation and nervousness….she said yes to the dress. 

I don’t think I can explain how absolutely gorgeous my best friend looked…and that’s no make-up, no hair, no jewelry.  I honestly can’t imagine her looking more beautiful (even though I know she will on her wedding day).  I can’t wait for everyone else to see her in “the one” and see that glow and that smile that I got to see.  Abe sure is a lucky guy….to get such a beautiful girl, inside and out.

Not Just a Tablecloth

When my aunt and I visited Lake Lynsday to find out if it was the place I wanted to have the reception, it happened to be decorated.  Browns, creams, tans, and gold tablecloths, overlays, and accents made the humongous room come together.  It was so stunningly beautiful that I considered changing my colors, after all brown is one of my favorite colors.  After seeing their display, I was eager to shop for linens. Really I was!  Again I met up with my aunt Sue and we visited several different linen rental places.  We spent a couple hours at the first place.  There are so many types of fabrics-crinkle, satin, iridescent, sequined, taffeta, polyester, checked, pintucked.  Plus a selection of different prints, overlays, and runners.  I was so overwhelmed, my head was spinning with ideas.  Then of course money always helps limit my million ideas!  Since we were on a budget, I decided to do half of the tables white polyester tablecloths.  I’d use accent pieces to throw in color.  Now was the hard part…finding fabric in our colors.  Sangria, apple green, and mango orange were not easy colors to find.  I was told that those were “coast” colors that hadn’t made their way inland yet.  Hmmm, guess I’m just too trendy!  We spent all afternoon tearing tablecloths and runners off hangers and setting showroom tables to get a better picture.  Between the tablecloth, runner, napkin, and chair sash, not all seemed to be available in the colors I needed.  I was beyond frustrated.  The salesperson at the rental place was very nice, but kept trying to persuade me to just change my colors; especially since at this point I hadn’t had my bridesmaids dresses.  We left with new colors-green and yellow.  It made me think I was throwing a baby shower.  I wasn’t happy.  Period.  I didn’t want to change my colors.  After all, it’s not just a tablecloth we’re dealing with here.  It’s precious fabric that would help set the mood of the reception, not to mention be the same colors used throughout the entire ceremony, reception, and just everything in general related to our wedding.  In a mission to find my colors, sangria especially, we continued to visit two more places.  We were unsuccessful, one place was closed and the other was equipment rentals and a selection of maybe 10 polyester tablecloths.  My aunt Sue and I even thought of making our own tablecloths. We went to a fabric store looking for something in my original colors that might work.  No luck!  They only had sangria sequined ribbon.  We went back to her house and got online.  Maybe I’d try ordering tablecloths online.  Heck, if I found what I wanted for around the same price I was going to rent them, I’d just buy them.  Don’t know what I’d do after the fact, but if it worked for the wedding day, that’s all that mattered.  We were on the internet from early evening to when I left her place around 10.  So far no luck.  When I got home I spent a couple more hours online looking, still no luck.  I went to bed and woke up (sleep deprived) the next morning wondering why I spent the night dreaming of orange crinkle cloth?!?!  I called Abe, who was getting off at 8am and told him to meet me at the linen place.  We were taking care of this not just today, but now.  With Abe’s clear cut decision making and patience, it was within an hour that I had linens (including tablecloths, napkins, runners, and chair sashes) I liked in a similar color scheme to the one I originally wanted.  I felt much relieved. 

The Perfect Place

So the first thing I did, literally two days later, was to trick Abe into taking me to the book store before we left Toledo so I could buy a wedding planning binder (to read outloud on the way home)!  This book was monstrous and really shed light to all the different time lines, expenses, and random things I probably wouldn’t have thought of, and truthfully could have saved money not knowing. 

The first thing we had to figure out was the engagement period.  I wanted a longer engagement (so I thought) so I could relax and enjoy planning.  Funny, right?  As I’d soon find out, there’s no such thing as relaxing while planning a wedding.  Abe wanted a short engagement.  I’m pretty sure he just wanted to start repopulating the world.  We decided to leave our date undecided since we couldn’t quite agree and check out the venues and see what we’d come up with. 

For the venue I knew I wanted an outdoor ceremony (I’d love an outdoor reception too, but poor gramps can’t be outside for that long), and we both agreed we wanted the ceremony and reception to be in the same place (to make it easier on our out-of-town guests).  With a group of family and friends as big as ours we were limited on venues that could accommodate. 

The first place we checked out was The Savannah Center!  It was nice, set on a lake with fountains and beautifully landscaped gardens.  The price was a pretty penny too…a whopping $13,000-$15,000 just to rent the place and order their food and their cheapest alcohol package.  Needless to say, we would not be getting married there.   

Thanks to having the best MOH ever, she assured me it was not the end of the world and cleared the following Saturday to go to yet another bridal show with me bound and determined to find a venue.  Walking around the bridal show (while trying to avoid the reps from the Savannah Center), we found it… Shaker Run Golf Club.  Although I was a little skeptical of being on a boring golf course, Abe and I visited the place the following weekend.  Besides the crazy off-roading we had to do to get there, we loved everything about it.   I especially loved the two-tiered, shaded ceremony site.   Once again, when the $17,000 price tag came out we knew we’d better walk away.  UGH! I was so frustrated! We scratched Shaker Run off our list and checked out another golf club, Beckett Ridge.  I hated it!  Literally, I’d be getting married smack dab in the middle of the parking lot.  I was never going to find anything!

My stack of brochures I’d picked up at the last bridal show was widdling down.  I came across the Chateau Pomiji Winery and thought, “this could work!”  I looked at pictures online to be sure I wouldn’t be wasting my time—a very romantic setting.  Just like time and time again I scheduled a consultation.  We spent another Saturday afternoon driving out there.  (Side note-I will say Abe has been outstanding as he’s accompanied me to all these potential venues in good spirit, only to have to deal with me complaining and crying the whole way home as I’m just positive I won’t find anything as perfect as the place before).  Anyway, I don’t remember why at this point, but I didn’t like the winery after all.  Not at all; I just knew it wasn’t the right place.    

I went home, got online, and then (suspenseful music here), I found it!   A do-it-yourself place with a breathtaking view of lake and a contemporary but cozy lodge.  I scheduled the consultation, to which my Aunt Sue came along (Abe was watching football at work).  I loved it, loved it, loved it!!!  I envisioned our day there and I could foresee it being perfect!  I know you know what’s coming next.  You guessed it…the price.  Well, I won’t say the exact amount, but I will say it’s a flat fee and then you bring in your own caterers and other necessary vendors making the event as fancy or relaxed as you want to determine the final price.  I was sold!  I would never find anything better and I knew it.  So needless to say the biggest deal was solved.  We were having the ceremony and reception at Lake Lyndsay. 

Surprises!!!

The weekend of December 17 was going to be busy!  Abe was having Lasik on Thursday and then we had planned to head to Toledo to celebrate Abe's birthday and Christmas with his family.  Since I worked on Thursday at both my full and part-time jobs, Abe was able to get a friend to take him to and from the doctor's office.  Then ,when I got off work at 10pm, I would just meet him at the Hope Hotel on the base and we'd leave in the morning.  Sounded like a great plan!

Since it was Abe's birthday I decided to surprise him by bringing Lily with us!  For those of you that don't know, Lily is my friend's 16-month old daughter who we'd claim as our own in a heartbeat.  Any other day of the year would Abe would have absolutely loved that I brought her along, but like most of you reading this thinking "what a horrible birthday gift, you could be going out," Abe thought that too. 

When I got to the base and he saw Lily in the backseat, the look of excitement never came it was more like the "what is she doing here" look.  My heart kinda sank, I thought I ruined his birthday, after all we did have reservations at a nice restaurant and plans to go to the Lights Before Christmas at the Toledo Zoo.  Abe seemed bummed out.  He thought it'd be just the two of us. 

My surprise...FAILURE!

Friday morning (Abe's birthday) came and we headed to Toledo, things appeared to be turning around, mainly since Abe has a soft-spot for Lily.   Our reservations were at The Elephant Bar at 5:30.  Although Abe's mom offered to watch Lily, I decided she would come with us.   After all, she had a 2 1/2 hour nap and would surely be good. (She's always well-behaved for us).  As you would guess, things weren't so great!  Besides the appetizer, our food was horrible, Lily was covered in sour cream, chocolate sauce and didn't want to stay in here seat, and I had somehow accidentally exploded Lily's cup of milk in mid-air.  We left the restaurant 2 1/2 hours later. 

It was now 8:30 and we still had plans to go to the zoo.  We went back to the house to clean-up and put on warmer clothes.  At this point I was debating not going.  It was getting late and was colder than I thought.  Walking around in the cold and dark wasn't sounding too appealing.  Abe really wanted to go, he was looking forward to it.  I kinda felt guilty, it was the least I could do in attempt to turn things around. 

Wouldn't you know when I went back upstairs Abe's mom offered to watch Lily so we could go "just the two of us."  I was hesitant, but was talked into it.  The mother in me came out as I went through the list of what Lily ate, when I last changed her, and telling his mom not to worry about putting her to bed.  I promised we'd be back by 10:30 and to call if she wanted or needed us back sooner.  Abe reminded me she'd raised several kids and knew what she was doing. 

Finally at the zoo!  For those of you that have never been to Toledo zoo, it is split into two sections by a bridge that crosses the road.  Most of the zoo is on one side and the train, wolves, polar bears, seals and maybe a few other animals are on the other side.  Our (Abe's) plan was to walk around the main part of the zoo and then finish with the train and animals on the opposite side. 

I will say that the Lights Before Christmas at the Toledo Zoo are way better than the Festival of Lights at the Cincinnati Zoo.  Anyway, before we were even finished with the main part of the zoo I was freezing!  I swear I couldn't feel my toes or fingers and my nose was beginning to run.  I was about ready to go.  I told Abe we should  finish up and head home (after getting hot chocolate of course).  We headed to the train and the rest of the animals.  Of course the train wasn't running.  I would say I was sad, but that'd be a lie.  I was secretly hoping it would be shut down.  I already despise cold weather and wouldn't have even been able to pretend I was excited about sitting on a freezing train seat going 5 or 10  miles per hours with the cold air piercing my skin!  So we headed to the polar bears, that'd be our last stop and then home we'd go! 

We saw the polar bears and got just outside the exhibit.  My walking pace increased and I now had tunnel vision----to the car!  Abe lightly grabbed my arm asked if he could have a kiss.  (Let me set the scene... it was just the two of us, we were standing just outside the seal exhibit, and the only light was the moonlight shining through the glass--super romantic)  "We can kiss in the car," I said as quickly smooched his lips and walked on.  Did I mention I was freezing and my toes were numb?  I had only gotten a few steps when he said, "Can you come here for a minute?"  I figured he wanted me to see the seals, but instead he asked for a "real" kiss! 

The next few minutes are kinda a blur as it seemed so surreal....

I heard Abe say "You know what would make this birthday even better?"  (Although I can't remember my exact thought at that moment, I'm guessing I would have been thinking how great it'd be if we could get to the warm car.)  He started to get down on one knee.  In total excitement I pulled him back up and hugged him.  Finally the lucky guy got his kiss ;)  Opening the ring box he said "Elizabeth, will you marry me?"   I said "YES!" and shut the ring box.  I headed for the car still wanting to thaw out my toes.  Only getting about three steps before realizing what was just happened, I stopped and turned back to Abe.  "Wanna see the ring now?" he asked.  Well duh! 

His surprise...SUCCESSFUL!